Skip to the Good Part
It’s not a normal morning unless I hit snooze on my alarm clock a good 3 or 4 times. This got me thinking about how much I love giving myself extra time to stay in bed. I like to just relax, think and ponder possibilities before getting ready to make a brief appearance into the real world everyday.
Within the inner world of an introvert, the smallest things can have the biggest impact on my daily outlook and overall wellbeing. I love staying in bed, cancelled plans, singing in the car, dancing in front of the mirror, lighting candles, listening to 90’s hip hop, walking barefoot, French films, getting lost in daydreams, and finding quiet coffee shops.
Though most of the time, I like to enjoy these little moments alone - not always. Only my closest friends and family really know this side of me, and I usually intend to keep it this way (well, I did). Most people wouldn't guess that I'm an introvert at all. This is mostly because I have given so much conscious effort into developing my extroverted traits.
Extroverts are said to make up 50-75% of the American population. In order to fit in with the majority, I'm used to being way more outgoing than I would inherently choose.
In my experience, this tendency to alter energy preferences makes it common for introverts to live in 2 different spaces at once. There is one reality where we are truly ourselves and then there is the one where we adapt to fit in with the majority based on the characteristics and expectations of those around us.
It's called "The Chameleon Effect", the ability to absorb the behaviors of others and alter our own personality traits in effort to make lasting connections with people.
While this can be perfectly normal and healthy to an extent, I've found that it often happens to Intuitive Introverts on an immediate, subconscious level. This type of conditioning can lead to pivotal breakthroughs with newfound insight, greater understanding of humanity and a heightened ability to empathize with people's struggles.
When we adapt our own personality traits instinctively without a higher consciousness, it's difficult to navigate between our own feelings and those that are being absorbed and replicated based on someone else's preferences.
Once I learned more about this term, I started to identify just how often I was transitioning into The Chameleon Effect and not truly being myself. I ended up developing one-sided relationships where I knew the other person really well, but they didn't know me at all. In efforts to hide my introverted energy preferences, I purposefully kept myself guarded from allowing people to connect with me in return.
As an introvert, I get easily overwhelmed and exhausted from too much social stimulation if I don't have enough alone time to rejuvenate my energy. Before understanding my own energy preferences, I didn't know how to find balance between the two different versions of my reality.
For some, these little moments that I described are life's transitions before we get to the real events and noteworthy milestones worth recognizing. But for me, the transitions are where I find the dreamiest moments, the good stuff worth remembering. That’s the space where I like to live and can truly feel like myself.
To complete my list: I love ordering dessert, not wearing makeup, running into an old friend, trusting my gut, the day after laundry day, fresh flowers, unexpected overcast weather and twinkle lights.
Through examining these seemingly simple things and small encounters, we can skip to the good part. In the space where you can truly be yourself, there is depth worth exploring, new thoughts to reflect upon, and lasting new insights to uncover.
For me, I was able to find the most balance and beauty in my life once I allowed myself to process my experiences on my own terms and started showing up as my true self. You can do more of the good stuff once you give yourself the time to recognize what that is to you.
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